A message for those going through hard times

[Gers]

Hello all,

Some of you might remember me as a long-time player. Recently, I encountered what I would consider a calling of faith from God. For almost two decades, I was an atheist, from the age of 23 or thereabouts to the age of 42. Not just the “I don't think Jesus and God exist” type, but the “the biblical God is evil” type. I'd spent a long time analyzing the Holy Bible from a very biased, skeptical point of view. My incomplete, historically ignorant, and secular ethical viewpoint (I'd been educated in public school, with a strong science background, and my parents never took me to church, even though they believe in God) led me into despair; before the age of 23, I'd become a drunk, a stoner, and spent the next eight or so years attempting to deaden the fear and pain from the thought that my Creator was a vile being on par with Charles Manson. I even nearlyb attempted suicide once. Later on in life, I fell into the use of even worse activities. I have faith that God let me fall into such so as to teach me the futility and foulness of such things. It was His wrath, or perhaps simply the lack of His blessings due to my very short-sighted belief system. I degraded myself to the point that, from what I think is God's point of view, I needed to “be scourged with the burning iron rods of jealousy, suspicion, fear, anger, and strife,” to quote Saint Augustine of Hippo. I feel a certain kinship with the man's experiences, though he woke up to Christ's message sooner than I did, and so he also inspires a certain envy in me. I honestly believe he gave me over to a depraved mind, due to my nearly unceasing sinning and pursuit of physical gratification. I also was once the leading person in play-time on Amia for a few months, and have probably spent more wasted time on video games than you would ever believe possible. Pro-tip: faith, your family, and your friends, are infinitely more important than a video game. Prayer has literally saved my life and sanity - don't arrogantly dismiss it without trying it, as I once did. It cost me two decades of self-inflicted loneliness and misery.

In my delusions and arrogance, I committed what would have been many a capital sin in the Old Testament, were Christians under it's law (admittedly, I still have yet to be baptized, I'm wondering if I should finish reading the Holy Bible first, and I fear I may have committed the unforgiveable sin given my atheistic rantings against Holy God, or may have a devil living in me – I did some -awful- stuff); I did not guard my tongue well where the Lord is concerned. Never until I began to dimly understand the Gospel did I realize just what a friend we have in Jesus, God's only begotten son. I had cursed Him, His Father, and worse, or so I thought at the time. I still struggle with the idea that such is forgiveable – and I am not yet entirely certain. That in itself may also be a sign of the Almighty at work, for how can I develop faith if I have certainty instead? This I think may be a crucial thing to remember – God is sovereign, over us and over nature. Some may say that this makes Him a tyrant, as I once did. If He is so, He is a kind and merciful one, and one by right. Who else knows how the whole of Creation works, and even how our very minds work? All He requires of us is to have faith in Him. And forcing one's self to believe in Jesus and Our Father in Heaven -does- seem to work, at least in my experience. I know I had to, or perhaps that act was inspired of God – I feel it was something of both. A little bit of me, and a great deal of Him.

To my former brethren, the atheists, I give this message: Christ loves you. He loves us, for He came for the ungodly, the same as He came for all sinners, especially all who have become monsters in their own skins due to mounting folly throughout their lives. I do not think it is ever too late to admit that we do not know everything. Think of how in physics you cannot truly measure something at a tiny scale without affecting and changing the resulting measurement by the very action of observing it. We literally cannot know everything, because we change things even just by -trying- to make measurements. For eample, how many of you think the Deluge, the supposedly legendary flood weathered by Noah, was factual? Some say it was a regional flood, others say it was truly world-wide. A certain 2014 discovery in mantle-deep geology has shed new light on this – there is a layer of water-absorbent mineral (ringwoodite) right above a lot of lava. This could be the source of the “fountains of the deep” mentioned in the Scriptural tale. Look it up if you don't believe me. Skeptics will say that this isn't proof – the computer models don't allow for it. But what they don't tell you, likely because they don't realize it, is that no computer model is perfect. Models are created from data which then must be compared to observed reality, and then the model gets changed in an attempt to more closely predict the future. Biblicly, this could be considered a form on numerology or number-worship, or fortune-telling, or prophesy. Possibly false prophecy, as an honest scientist will have to admit that they don't know everything, and that their models are inherently imperfect. Also, how would they know when they had discovered everything there is to know? If you know of the Schrodinger's Cat thought experiment, we are quite literally the cat in the box from God's point of view. Consider it.

I hope that none here are offended at this posting. My intent is not to force my religion on anyone, but to provide food for thought and to hopefully provide a light in the darkness for anyone similaly suffering. God and you family loves you, weather you know it or not, or will admit it or not. Please don't forget it.

[Opustus]

Thanks for wishing well. I wish you all the best, too. Thank you for saying that Christ loves me whether I believe or not, as I think that's a healthy and kind attitude for Christ and his believers to have. I love my fellow humans despite their religious beliefs too, and think this is a principle that builds trust and peace. I personally hope to live well with strong belief in science over faith but don't see why science and faith should necessarily rule each other out. In my opinion the pursuit of doing good should always take precedence, and it's my own belief so far that if pressed to choose between the two options, it's science with more practical and testable methods of improving our quality of life (health and happiness) and it's science that has revealed more mysteries than religion. I see a use for faith in our world to console us and motivate us intrinsically to do well even when it isn't the easy option, as long as we place that faith in loving and caring things, such as a loving and caring god.

[ZoltanTheRed]

Hey Gers, definitely not offended. Hope you're doing well. Definitely remember you from back in the day. I hope you stay blessed, good sir.

[Bag of Felt]

Also definitely not offended. Thanks for thinking of us.

[Beans]

Yeh man, thanks for the kind thoughts! I hope everything is alright with you too Gers, take care buddy!

[FairSarai]

GERS!

Miss you. Atheist or religious zealot, Jud'Vardas will always be one of my favorite drow.

Come back and visit sometime? Not just to post on forums?

(Yes, I realize you don't know who this is, but isn't that the point? And FYI message was received.)